CalArt or Pasadina, here i come.

I'm trying to get everthing together so i can graduate early. If i can graduate early i will be done by high school at 16, and then i can move to California with the rest of my family and try to get into school early. I mean, my plans are huge and will take forever to figure out, but if i pull this off...then i'll be a happy camper. I am going to take photography, art, precussion, and dance at CalArt in California :)...but that's a lot fo schooling and...well...a lot of money i don't have. :\ I don't have to board there if i live with my mom and dad, and want to drive 30 miles to school everyday. blahh. :'(
haha whatever. i have awhile to figure things out...kinda. i shouldn't worry about it.

why..? i have no idea

why do i waste my tears on you? why do you take up my thoughts?
why should i care what you think? why should i care what you do? you're taking up my time and honestly i don't think you care anyway. you never really did. so i think i'm going to stop acting like i have a say, and like you will ever remember what i did for you.
i'm happy where i am, but you're getting in the way. you'll never me mine anyway, so i'm gonna get over my stupid imaginative mind :) i'm done pretending. hahaha. completely done.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zm6i-C0p1Y&feature=relmfu

you are beautiful

Every person on earth is beautiful.
The tall, the small. The redheaded and the blond. The black and the white. The religious and the not. The male and the female.
Everyone, no matter how ugly they think they are, someone on this earth will think you're beauiful. Because you are.

for having a lot of friends,

i sure have no one.

papple pie, peach pie, coconut cream pie, key lime pie. all the pies are very......awesum

so... the end of the world sucked. i have never been more alive in my entire life then i am right now..kinda. that's all'm going to say
but the day ended alright. just chilling at tylers house in sweats laying on his bed talking about anything and everything. it was great, even though he almost fell asleep. Haha :)
i just... it was a great day.

I'mgoing to maplemountain all day on tuesday :) i hope it goes well and fun  :) haha

every boy wants a redhead

every boy wants a redhead.
every boy wants to hold their soft freckled skin.
every boy wants to look into green or blue eyes.
every boy wants to kiss their fine redhead lips.
every boy wants a firey personality.
every boy wants a unique girl.

every boy wants a redhead

no boy wants curly brown hair.
dark blank eyes.
dry dusty skin.
no boy wants the 'artsy fartsy' type.

every boy wants a redhead

i got your picture, i'm coming with you.

today was kinda fun.
i smiled a couple times and laughed a little too.
that's good.
yeah..
:)

i keep on waiting for the world to change...

Secrets.
Everyone has their secrets. I'm not saying this is a bad thing. Everyone needs their secrets..but they're killing me.
And no one is happy.. I actually have never felt worse. I think I'm at the point of my teenagehood where i just want to yell at everyone to get along. I'm ready to just give up. But..i don't know...not without a fight? And i want people to not be so..rude. They act like they can just push people around, or act like they can be idiots. I want people to be nice to each toher..even if they hate them..

uhm..yeah..i'm never going to reams again.

Tator Tot..
The people at wally world think we're funneh :)
You know, it's cuz we are. We are so freaking hilarious it just blows my mind...actually, we're pretty lame, but can we pretend we for funny for kicks and giggles? for lols? good. hehe :D

Sometimes i wish i didn't have a busy schedule. cuz i can't have dance rehersal and drumline on the same dayyysss. that was just a little bit stressful. and then i didn't go to the last half hour of drumline cuz i just...it was pointless. -__- anyways...

Have you ever wondered why people like you around some people, but then around others they treat you like an idiot? it pisses me off...it's like..either like me or hate me, but would you puhlease stop giving me whiplash? i would rather have ou hate me all of the time, rather then some of the time...Or just LOVE me 100% of the time. (heavy sarcasm, if you couldn't tell)

I actually don't know where I'm going with this blog post..i just know that i felt like..i dunno...typing in teh blog. Ranting about the stuff that no one actually cares about. yup.
anywaya...it was a rough day, but Taylor got me through it.
I love you TayRawwr.

It's only when you're sitting alone a public bathrooms that you can really think about the problems in life

Yesterday everyone got together at Jessica's house... can i just say horrible? The only fun i had was talking to Jess while we were hiding in her shed.. And then Brendan and Alec just sort of left me there and it was really awkward. It sorta hurt. I just got abandoned in a friends teritory filled with enimies. -___- it was the worst.
and then earlier that day i got to watch a makeout session for two hours. so i just left.

Lets just say weekends aren't my thing. Never have been. Never will be.

I want to punch my life in the face right now

Some people have these crazy deep blog entries and stiff, but i guess I'mnot a crazy deep person..inside i am..somewhere..but there are chains and barbed wire and brick wall blocking the deepness.Not to mention the moat i have filled with dinosaurs and other creatures of the sort. I have a hard time being serious, cuz seriousness has always been the same as growing up to me..I know, that's a very childish way of thought, but that's the point..i guess. I think of my personal thought as inmates. I don't want them to get out, and i don't  want people to know wht they have done. Also, they are like dreams..you can only remember them half the time, and I only have them when I'm not completely lucid..(that was a joke...get it?...laugh?) Anyways, my point is, iI'm not very deep...but I'm not shallow either. I'm deep when you get past all of the above, but know one knows it.

Anyways..i think I'm going to go cry now..cuz this is too hard for me..why can't everyone just along...and not be so...gay and stupid. D:<

Nothing Lasts Forver;; Maroon5

It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both

I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
But misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep

Built a wall around my heart
I’ll never let it fall apart
Strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you, babe

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

Though we have not hit the ground
It doesn't mean we're not still falling,
Oh I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame, I hope you find somewhere to place the blame
But until then the fact remains

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
Nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

my goal: make a new friend

someimes i wish you guys wouldn't hate me..
i know maybe i wasn't the nicest person..but that was once..and i'm more sorry then i have ever been..to anyone.. i feel like i blew my chance with new friends. i love making new friends, and frankly i think we could all be really good friends..everyone says so.. we used to new friedns..kind of. last year we talked everyday.. i guess it's not last year anymore. i really want you to forgive me, cuz i didn't mean what i said. but you're not doing that either..
and...-sigh- i don't know what i want to say other then i have nothing against you.. i don't know why you hate me so..

:)

i have this picture hanging on my fridge. it's pretty much the dumbest thing i have ever drawn at 2 a.m. But i fell in love with it anyways ans Taylor and Cody look they a 4 year old drew them, and tyler is pretty much the cutest thing in the world. it's all really random, actually. and at the top of the paper it says 'teh groupies' in like 6 year old handwrtiting XP anyway.. yeah, imma dork, and i can't draw. BUT THAT DOESN'T STOP ME.... hehe xD

p.s.
this is my 100th post...is that something special, or is it saying im a sickly blog addict?
i guess i just need to be heard.