I'm coming to Utah on Tuesday

I'm super nervous, and I have lost the ability to communicate with friends. So I'll just piss everyone off and get made fun of. Oh wait.
That's just like old times.
Actually, I'm quite excited. I know it won't be the same as when I lived there. It will be different. I don't know if it will be good different, or bad different. But it will be different. I'm thinking that maybe people won't want to see me. The thought that "I've been gone for four months; I should just stay here" keeps popping into my head. It's probably just the butterflies in my belly talking to the racking in my head. I'm nervous. I haven't seen my friends in four months. What do I say? How do I act? Do I hug people, or is that asking too much of everyone?
This shouldn't be a big deal.
Hah. It isn't a big deal but I can't stop making it out to be one. I'm afraid.
Happy
Sad
Excited
Everything.
When I left there was a lot of bad blood.. Will it still be that way?

Maybe I should just stay home and not get out of bed.

That seems like a good plan right?

Ugh. I feel like I'm giving a talk in church. That feeling where

you just really want to not do it,

but you know it will be a good talk.

Or somthing along those lines.

blahhh.