Wake me up.

I used to be the girl with vines for veins and flowers in her hair. "You're so down to earth" they would say. And  I never really understood what it meant. But I would smile anyways, and my eyes would sparkle because that's who I was. I used to be head bands and anklets and I would play the ukulele. I was thin, because I ate natural foods, and I didn't feel the need to wear make-up. There was an innocent beauty to the perk of my nose, and a laugh with every curl of my hair. I was in love with the sky and the clouds and a boy with pretty eyes. I was happy, and hyper, and loud. Confident. I was talentless, but content. I tried to play the cello, and the piano, and the guitar, and I didn't care that it was something nobody else noticed.
I used to ride horses, and hike. I would swim in the river and lay in the park and jump into the swimming pool in full clothing. I used to fall in love with every blade of grass my bare feet touched. I used to go out of my way to pet a stray dog, and to laugh with the tree's. My anxiety was non-existent and the world seemed full of promise. Every star in the sky got my attention, and every grain of sand earned my curiosity. I used to not care that my home was hell. It didn't matter to me, and long as there was a telephone wire leading me somewhere I'd never been. I used to look at pictures of California and cry and it's beauty. I used to always want to be out in the world, playing music and laughing with a friend. I loved simplicity.

I am who I used to be.

Lately, however, I have been stressed. Full of hate towards everything, including myself and my family. I have been apathetic and far away from what matter most. I've gained weight because I sit inside the house all of the time, and I find myself cursing whoever my higher being is.

Who I am hates who I've been.