So here I am it's in my hands. And I'll savor every moment of this

so...
im not one to freak out. im not one to hate. im not one to gossip and spread rumors after things end. im not gonna go around saying 'oh heaven help me, my life is over!' thats not me.
but i do cry. i do listen to tons of sad music. i will talk to my friends about it. i will act differently.
every guy,
whether we end up friends after or not takes a tiny piece of me with them. even if what we have is small. or if we cant say that we were in love. it still hurts. im not gonna point fingers, or blame, im just gonna think to myself what I could have done better. what i should have dont instead of what i did.
sometimes i walk away never wanting to see a certain guys face again. or i can walk away and still say that i have a great friend.
and sometimes i dont know what to do. i will just go numb for a few days and then after that be over it.
im so confusing to myself sometimes...
AND SOMETIMES ill write in this stupid blog that i ALREADY hate.
uh ya...